If you’re hoping the narcissist in your life will make sweeping behavioral changes, you are likely to be disappointed, according to a systematic review published in the journal Psychological Bulletin.
A narcissist is someone who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance and is extremely self-centered. Narcissists tend to believe they are unique and special, constantly seek attention, and may not understand or care about the feelings of others.
The review article, which combined 51 studies with more than 37,000 people in total, set out to explore how narcissism changes over the life course. The data demonstrated that narcissism declines gradually over the span of one’s life; that is, people become more generous, empathetic and agreeable as they age. But the changes spanning from childhood to the adult years were small and people who showed higher levels of narcissism as children tended to remain that way as adults.
In short, the authors conclude that narcissism is a personality trait versus a behavior that changes over time.
It’s important to note that most people demonstrate narcissistic behaviors sometimes, meaning they may occasionally brag or seek attention. That’s different from narcissistic personality disorder, which occurs when someone demonstrates narcissistic behaviors constantly.
The review article identifies three different types of narcissism:
- Agentic narcissism is what most people think of as typical narcissism. People with this type are focused on power and status, crave admiration, and have an inflated sense of self-importance.
- Neurotic narcissism occurs when someone needs constant validation and praise, and reacts extremely sensitively to any criticism. People with this type of narcissism often have feelings of shame, anxiety and self-doubt.
- Antagonistic narcissism occurs when someone is overly competitive, hostile toward others and lacks empathy. People with this type most often view others as rivals.
Given that narcissism is unlikely to improve significantly over the life span, research into how best to cope with narcissistic people may be a more effective way to address this condition. To date, there are no large studies or systematic reviews on the best ways to interact with narcissistic people, but clinical psychologists have developed some strategies that may help.
One, called gray rocking, involves disengaging from aggressive or toxic behaviors. This could mean offering only short, straightforward answers or responses, hiding any emotional reactions you may be feeling, or completely leaving an intense situation. The idea is that by refusing to react to narcissistic behavior, you are not rewarding it.
Psychologists also suggest setting firm boundaries about how you expect to be treated and rewarding or praising anytime a narcissistic person demonstrates empathy or caring.
The take-home message: A broad body of research suggests that narcissism is a personality trait that is unlikely to change dramatically over the course of the lifespan. This information is likely most important for those who encounter and live with narcissistic individuals.
