As a first-time parent, I was completely surprised one day when I was nearly overcome by the urge to spank my two-year-old. After a challenging hour or two at a crowded shopping mall, he purposely pulled a pile of t-shirts off a shelf at a clothing store in a tantrum. Really, I should have known better than to take a tired toddler shopping for clothes. But that was cold comfort as I stood in the middle of a crowded store watching my son throw merchandise on the floor.
At the time, I was lucky to have read some of the research on physical punishment. Because — as I learned that day — it takes a lot of knowledge to overcome the feelings I had toward my little guy in that moment. That’s why I think it’s important to share this new evidence regarding the impact of physical punishment on children.
Earlier this year, researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan conducted a sweeping systematic review that includes more than 50 years of research on spanking involving more than 160,000 children. It is the most complete analysis to date of how spanking affects children.
For starters, the paper defined spanking as “an open-handed hit on the behind, arm or legs.” The review found that about 80 percent of children are spanked or receive some sort of physical discipline as a punishment.
Overwhelmingly, the review found that spanking is an ineffective way to discipline children and has harmful effects — nearly as harmful as more serious physical abuse, such as hair-pulling and punching.
The review found spanking is associated with more than a dozen negative outcomes. Over the short-term, spanking was found to harm the relationship between the parent and child and lead to anti-social behavior, depression, increased aggressive misbehavior and low self-esteem among children.
Over the long-term, the research found that spanking leads to anti-social behavior, mental illnesses and anxiety later in life. Adults who were spanked as children were also more likely to the use of support physical punishment for their own children.
The question of whether to use physical punishment on children has been on the minds of parents and educators for decades, said Jane Powers, a Cornell researcher at the Bronfenbrenner Center for Translational Research who specializes in the impact on violence on youth. But this new research clearly demonstrates — without a question — the negative consequences of spanking.
“When parents use physical discipline with their children, they are modeling the use of aggression as a means of controlling the behavior of others,” she said. “Consequently, the child learns to use violence to get what she wants. In spite of the research that demonstrates that spanking is associated with higher rates of child aggression, most parents in the U.S. approve of and use corporal punishment to discipline their children.”
In our family, my husband and I have agreed that spanking is not a form of discipline we want to use. For those times when our frustration levels rise, we have found that it helps to have some coping mechanisms in place. There are two strategies that work for us: taking a break from parenting when needed — whether asking for help from the other parent, or just stepping into the other room for a few deep breaths — and trying to see the humor in everything, including that formerly neatly-folded stack of shirts spread across the store floor.
On this subject, I find it quite difficult to simply “step into the other room” and take a breather, especially in a situation where a child completely goes bananas in the store, having a clinically defined temper tantrum, while this article states to simply relax and reassess. I can totally understand how a parent can get to the point where they feel their only option is to strike out, however, I have yet to see any positive outcome from that sort of behavior. In my opinion, that only teaches violence to a child. I would much rather give the child boundaries and consequences. For example, my daughter knows that her behavior will dictate her ability to fully enjoy her weekend..etc. if she behaves like a fool, she knows that her car keys will come up missing.
In my opinion, it’s all about behavior and consequences. Bad behavior will not be tolerated. I have instilled this type of parenting with both of my daughters from day one, and I know they respect me for it.
Agreed. But as the father of a (nearly) 2 year old, I find it highly unsatisfying to read an article which gives the evidence for what doesn’t work and finishes with suggestions such as “taking a break” and “stepping into the other room”.
Any chance of a follow up article – evidence on positive strategies which work?